Stalking is, in simple terms, persistent unwanted attention that has a sinister motive. Stalking can cover a wide range of behaviours. Even a number of seemingly innocent acts can constitute a pattern of stalking behaviour. Sometimes Stalking can be fairly obvious, for example receiving threatening text messages or phone calls. However ‘pleasant’ actions such as the sending of love letters, or flowers to the home can also be classed as stalking.
Just because the actions do not occur everyday, the behaviour can still be classed as stalking. Take the following two scenarios:
1) A woman who receives a sexually threatening phone call every night before she goes to bed and the following day is followed to work. She has love letters sent to her work and posted through her locker at her gym.
2) A woman who receives a threatening letter once per year on the anniversary of her husband’s death.
Both the above scenarios are examples of stalking. Both have regularity and continuity to them and both will cause the victims negative emotions and give them reasons to fear for the safety of themselves and possibly their children.
Stalking is much more likely to be committed by previous intimate partners. Whilst strangers or acquaintances can become stalkers, this is much less common. However, stalking by strangers is often widely reported in the press. Famously there have been any number of celebrities that have had fanatical ‘stranger’ stalkers. From Madonna to David Beckham, celebrity stalking is a popular story.
So why therefore is stalking by previous partners so much more common? The answer lies in the woman not realising that she is being stalked. It seems that often stalking behaviours are put down as an annoyance, rather then a behaviour which is harassment. The problem here is that whilst the behaviours might start off as an inconvenience (e.g. a regular text message,) if the stalker feels he is being ignored, the severity of the behaviours could increase (e.g. damaging property.)
A study by Sheridan et al. (2001) focused closely on the experiences shared by 22 victims of stalking. The women involved identified behaviours that they were subjected to. The table below details these behaviours.
| Stalking Behaviour | Percentage (%) |
| Watches Victim | 91 |
| Follows Victim | 82 |
| Tries to Gain Information From Victims Family or Friends | 77 |
| Trespasses on Victim's Property | 68 |
| Approaches and tries to Speak to Victim | 66 |
| Slanders or Bad Mouths Victim | 60 |
| Stalks Family Members | 59 |
| Threatens Physical Assaults | 53 |
| Shouts Abuse at Victim | 51 |
| Damages Victim's Car | 40 |
| Makes Counter-allegations of Stalking | 39 |
| Threatens Family / Partner / Friends | 39 |
| Damage Outside Property of Victim | 36 |
| Physical Assault | 32 |
| Breaks into Victim's Home | 32 |
| Steals From Victim | 30 |
| Attempts to Kill Victim | 25 |
| Tries to Move into Victim's Social Circle | 22 |
| Assaults Family / Friends / Partner | 17 |
| Bugs Victims Home | 13 |
| Carries Out Sexual Assault | 6 |
Research also suggests that stalkers who were once intimate partners were likely to have been abusive during the relationship itself. The stalking behaviour may be the man’s attempt to regain some degree of control over the woman again. However it is important to realise that stalking is not inevitable, and can be considered an illegal activity carried out by the minority.
As mentioned above, Stalking is an illegal activity. It is against the law to harass another person. If you believe you are being stalked, you should contact the police when it is safe to do so. It is also important that you keep any text messages; answer machines messages, love letters / poems etc… so that the police can build a case against the perpetrator.
If you do not feel that you want to call the police, it is still important to keep all of the items sent to you; this could include the stalker’s underwear. As much as this may make your skin crawl, it is importance evidence. If you do not call the police, talk to a friend or family member you feel comfortable to confide in.
In all cases, it is important to make sure that you have a practical Safety Plan.