What is Domestic Violence?

The UK government domestic violence definition is ‘any violence between current and former partners in an intimate relationship, wherever the violence occurs. The violence may include physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse." Domestic violence occurs across society regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, wealth and geography.’

So it seems that domestic violence is more then just physical violence. The Duluth Power and Control Wheel is an excellent way of breaking down different behaviours that constitute Domestic Violence. This wheel is often used to help the perpetrators of domestic violence face up to their actions, take responsibility for their behaviour and realise that it is not just physical violence that makes a domestic abuser.

Domestic Violence Wheel

Am I Being Abused?

Having looked at the wheel, ask yourself whether you recognise any of the behaviours within the context of your own relationship. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you ever feel afraid of your partner?
Has your partner ever physically hurt you or threatened you?
Has you partner ever threatened or hurt you children?
Has your partner ever destroyed things you are about?
Has you partner ever been abusive to a family pet to get at you?
Has your partner ever forced you to have sex?
Have you ever been prevented from doing things, e.g. going out, meeting friends, having a phone etc.?
Is your partner overly controlling with money?
Does your partner treat you like a servant?

If you answer ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, or you can identify with any of the behaviours described on the wheel then you are likely a victim of domestic abuse. It is firstly important to realise that you are in no way to blame for the abusive behaviours of another person. Secondly, you should decide whether you feel you need support. Support services are more common then you may believe and often take the form of a government body or a charity. For links to confidential support services please click here.